Yesterday as I waited to board a train to Shepherd Bush at rush hour, I saw a man push his way past throngs of people trying to get off the train, so he could get on and secure a seat.

It made me think of the two (there are more) most annoying behaviours that people employ on public transport.  Also known as ‘your silly action has the potential to make you and everyone else late’.   

Just wait.

Yesterday, if I wasn’t from here, wasn’t inclined to mind my own business and I was eager to have an argument, I would have pulled the man aside and asked him what he was thinking?

I would ask him:

1. Being that we can all see that this is clearly the end and the beginning of the line.  That is it rush hour.  That as the train approached it was clear to see that it was busting to the metal seams full of people. What made you think that you should push your way past people and a buggy to grab a seat?

2. I would enquire to see if he had consider the potential ramifications of his act. The least being a delay to the train moving, and the worst being that he could have knocked someone over or caused stampede if everyone followed his way of thinking.

3. Lastly, I would see if there was some reason why he did not carry on with the same action as everyone else who was waiting to board the train?  Why he ducked and dived like he was a 20th century, old school con man to park his bum for just one stop.   

I  mean I get it, sometimes you just need to sit down! But there is no real reason why one cannot wait till everyone has exited the train….

Off the tube; up to the platform… please stand on the right. 

Ok, so if you’re the first person on the tube in the morning. There is no one behind you.  And there is no one coming for a while.  Then (and only then) can you stand where you want.  Gosh if you want you can stand in the middle just for kicks.  No one will care.

But this does not, will not, and never should apply when other people are sharing those escalators with you. 

If you don’t know and somehow haven’t picked up by the ten other people who are clearly standing to one side of the escalator, then please do not be upset when someone informs you.

My personal qualm however is not those who stand on the wrong side.  At the end of the day we can all be a bit dopey when we are somewhere new or unfamiliar.   No, my qualm is those who make the venture to walk and then at the last minute decide, ‘you know what I’m going to stop walking these final few steps’. 

I cannot tell you how annoying it is to be walking down only to suddenly back into someone else as the person on the bottom/top of the escalator decides that they will not finish what they have started. 

I actually had a woman turn around to me and asked me, if I think I own the escalator, just because I ‘politely  suggested that she keeps to the right if she wants to stop walking half way up.

The escalator has two lanes so that the people who want to stand can do just that. And the people who want to walk are not hindered.  Those who decide to try and get the best of both worlds only succeed in potentially causing an accident: one bump, one fall, one part of the station shut whilst they call ambulance. 

But on weekends…

I give up all hope.  Its like the transport system is flooded by people who have no clue and no peripheral vision.  I therefore swallow any annoyance which threatens my temples and let it go.   

But then Monday hits again.  And no matter how many times someone is reminded by signs, posters and the station staff, there will always be that someone who goes against the grain….

Who knows why, maybe they just want that seat, maybe they hate the left hand side, maybe they just want to be creative and go against the norm. Whatever the reasons; please stop. 

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